Okay. I’m serious. I definitely worry that if I sit at my desk, typing all day, not only will I have carpal tunnel syndrome, but a butt that’s the size of a chair cushion. A large chair cushion. Complicating matters is the fact that I hurt my knees in an overly enthusiastic exercise attempt.

Yesterday my NordicTrack Skier arrived. You know the one? It has sort of cross country skis? So all you have to do is slide your legs. (I’m laughing now, too.) And it has those handles so you can pull on the ropes that give your arms exercise. It looks so easy on television, doesn’t it?

I’m here to tell you that those television people either intrinsically understood the appropriate ratios of tension on the bottom flywheel to their abilities OR they deleted the portions of the tapes where they stepped onto the machine, moved their legs, and landed on their butts.

I know I should be able to move my feet BACKWARD so that I can again slide them FORWARD, but so far I have managed to move forward – so far forward that all I can do is cling to the padded thing that’s supposed to support you as you lean forward. Did I say cling? What I meant to say is frantically clasp as if I were a baby monkey dangling from a vine above a pool of crocodiles.

The stress is definitely aerobic. Not so sure about the actual cross country skiing part.

Go me.